‘Woezɔ'(Welcome) to my blog – Smile.

Thank you for visiting my blog for the first time. I had to create this blog for academic purposes even though I have one which is inactive (Smile). I hate that I have to create this but I need my marks badly.

Be glad that you are reading my first ever blog publication, although I have had my stories published in the newspaper.

In my blog I will be writing more about Lifestyle, notwithstanding, I may update news stories because I do attend events often, and I like politics too – I suppose everyone should. I may add up a little of business tips for investments – we should all be interested in monetary issues and economy too. Every happy person has a sound economy (knowledge of money). Therefore, when I find something worth sharing on money, I will.

In conclusion, before you exit my blog; kindly leave a comment below and share with me your thoughts -anything you felt- after reading my hasty article. Or anything interesting about lifestyle I should consider.

Thank you and have a good day.

Music: SamKcat Drops Another Single ‘Ahmeda’

Growing Reggae-dancehall, SamKcat, singer has released another beautiful song for the ‘special’ ones in our lives.

The song reflects on the foundation laid by people who give ample room for others to learn and develop in a sturdy environment.

SamKcat acknowledges the works of legends like Bob Marley, Kwame Nkrumah, Maya Angelou, Marcus Garvey.

Yet he focuses on ‘Ahmeda’ who represents any person who has been crucial in the lives of others.

Check out the video below

Growing Reggae-dancehall, SamKcat, singer has released another beautiful song for the ‘special’ ones in our lives.

The song reflects on the foundation laid by people who give ample room for others to learn and develop in a sturdy environment.

SamKcat acknowledges the works of legends like Bob Marley, Kwame Nkrumah, Maya Angelou, Marcus Garvey.

Yet he focuses on ‘Ahmeda’ who represents any person who has been crucial in the lives of others.

Check out the video below

Why Ghanaians Should Leave Ghana

There has been a serious craze for emigration in search for greener pastures amongst Ghanaians over the past decade, to ‘developed’ nations. In fact, it is scary for a country that has not seen any form of war or conflict of any kind in decades. When you look at the stability Ghana has enjoyed since independence, compared to other nations in the sub-region; this shouldn’t be the case. One would think that Ghana is the place to be in Africa. Truth be told, it is! Yet it can do better for anyone who lives in it.

First, let us all agree that migration, emigration, immigration and the movement of people in general, searching for survival is a natural thing most living things do. It seems the search for survival has now become a problem because of the nation-state concept which has been created to provide security and stability for human beings. That shouldn’t be the case, living things by their natural instincts will move when they feel threatened. They will move when they cannot see life where they are. If not for borders and all the things associated with it, and the desire to control, movement should be a basic human right for everyone.

For a very long time I have been contemplating ‘leaving’ Ghana even though I have never liked the idea of leaving my place of birth. It is something which goes against my political views as a Pan-African. A cousin of mine went to study in Turkey for two years and returned to Ghana in 2021. A few months after his return, I could tell he was not happy with life in Ghana, and I wondered how he survived the over two decades he spent in Ghana before travelling abroad. Funny but sad! I don’t know what my people see in the western world that when they go there for a visit or whatever and come back, life down here becomes undesirable!

This cousin of mine is also a staunch Pan-African and an ardent follower of Nkrumah. But a few months after his return to Ghana from Turkey; my brother said to me ‘Selasi, you can’t save this country. You must first save yourself and when you still have some strength, then you can focus on saving this country. For now think about yourself’. Coming from my brother, that was really shocking to hear. I never thought I would hear such a thing from someone like him. I wasn’t surprised to hear, a few months after, that he had left the country again. Wow, anyway! 

This week I was listening to the Citi Business Show, one of my favourite radio programs. But lately, I have become mindful of my mental health that I consume the program sparingly. Oftentimes, the points they raise or discussions they make infuriates me. Not because that is what the program intends to do but because of how some stories and events discussed on the show can expose the irresponsible behaviour we have condoned as Ghanaians from our leaders and the institutions that be. There are days when tears run down my cheeks. 

On the show, the panellists and the host were discussing the worrying trend of emigration amongst Ghana’s experienced labour force, mainly Doctors and Nurses, engineers, teachers, artisans and others. It is really worrying for all of us, I mean all of us! As much as it is worrying for all of us, we must also understand the struggles of having to survive in a place like Ghana. Compared to other countries, Ghana is Heaven! Compared to other countries too, Ghana is what it is now. Laugh Out Loud. But in all ‘We Dey Inside’. 

From the discussions, it was clear that most people are only waiting for their turn to leave the country. Some may never get the chance to and those who have the chance just can’t wait. Not a single person is really hopeful about this country. Those who show any sign of hope are either being sarcastic about it or trying to play the devil’s advocate. It is that bad for this country! No one is taking anything seriously in this country anymore. People are just waiting for their turn to take their share and run away. 

When we talk about emigration, oftentimes people talk about the experienced labour force and those who have the means to or say those who have the benefit of travelling through safer routes. There are thousands of people who have died on the deserts and many more thousands who are dying on the seas when they are travelling on boats, overloaded with human beings. Those who survive through those routes never want to come back or never want to have anything do with their place of birth. In your community where I grew up with my brothers as a child, today almost a half of the thousands of youths have either travelled to Brazil or the USA and many more are dying to leave, literally dying on deserts and through dangerous routes.

Our biggest concern has been that as they are all going, how many will stay behind to build the Ghana they hope to see when they return? Fine! Let us believe most will stay because they do not have the means. Those who have left must then show some level of patriotism to invest back to see what they have been longing for in this country. I like the idea one of my colleagues shared with me. He said, ‘Selasi let us go and get the money and use it for the things we want to do’. He continued ‘Won’t you like it if I went out and sent you money to do your music?’

I smiled and laughed as it sounded good to the ears. But I thought to myself, what is the guarantee that you will make it when you get there. Friends, it takes years of saving to travel to America or Europe in this part of the world. And I ask myself, couldn’t that be used to start something in this Ghana? The counter arguments I get often is that the dollar is heavier and that a few of that is huge money here. And the other thing also is that, with that travelling money which could be used to start a business here in Ghana, the system has its own way of breaking the backs of these businesses. So people would love to go abroad and work for the dollar. Some of the jobs people go and do there, they will never do here. Crazy!! 

“Anyway, whoever wants to leave this country, let them go. For those of us who want to stay, let no one try to tell us otherwise. We will give ourselves hope to stay” I paraphrased from Bernard Avle’s statements during the discussions. For some of us, staying right here in Ghana is a decision we have made. But who knows, circumstances may force us to leave at some point. We can go into the arguments of racism blacks face In these western worlds but that is for another day. Honestly, since the blackman is not safe and secure in his own country, shall he care about how another treats him? Certainly not! 

Ghanaians should be allowed to leave Ghana and go to where they believe they can survive. They may come back with experience or repatriate funds to support projects. Whichever way, whoever goes out there should not abandon Ghana. That is the only plea I and the few ones who want to stay can ask for. Emigration may give birth to another Kwame Nkrumah. Or the next Moses needed to lead Africa into the world we want to see for ourselves the next generation. 

Don’t Buy Or Assume Love With Gifts

This article focuses on gifts giving and receiving. Somewhat, it will focus on romantic relationships but touch on various aspects of life. Leave a comment at the end with your thoughts.

Gifts are undoubtedly one of the most powerful tools to get someone’s attention. Whether you are receiving it or you are giving it to someone. Either way, attention is given in return. Sometimes, get affection from it.

People will glow with joy on their faces when they are given gifts. And when you are on the receiving end, you would realise how excited you were inwardly even if you didn’t show it openly.

One of the reasons gifts are powerful is because of the law of reciprocity. This is a principle I learned during my undergraduate studies. When people are given or receive something, there is the tendency to give back, just like Tit for Tat.

Tit for Tat sounds extreme in this case but that is the best example I can give. If you want true love, using gifts as the main means of securing it may hurt you badly. Gifts are good but they can’t buy love.


Some people will say ‘What is Love Without Gifts?’ But when love becomes ‘material’ then only the highest bidder gets it. Love then becomes something for the rich.

Others may then argue cautiously by saying that ‘Oh, it shouldn’t necessarily be expensive things one has to buy to prove their love’. That is fair enough or, say, ‘gifts given should not be often, once in while’.

All these thoughts are equally valid. What I am trying to draw your attention to is that lots of people today use gifts as a means to seek solutions to a problem rather than talk about the problem or problems.

So you will find that a couple are not on good terms and one buys gifts for the other in the hope that the issues will be resolved. Sometimes, it helps ease tension but that doesn’t mean the problem has vanished. No, it will come back to hurt you if you do not hold the bull by the horn.

It is fair enough if you want to use the gift as an incentive to get the other person to talk or corporate. But then make sure the issue is talked to the crust of it. Leave no stone unturned.

You may be wondering if I am such an awkward person not to like gifts. I swear, I can live with some for the rest of my life and be content if I never received a gift from the other person.

If I want a gift for myself, I would go get it and pamper myself. I grew up as a loner, largely for the better part of my years. My parents divorce when I was barely 5 or 6 years old. For that I had to learn the art of survival up till now.

My parents, I would say, made sure I was good when they were together. Especially from my mother. Even after they divorced she was still on the side giving me support.

My parents’ divorce was kind of a blessing in disguise. It taught me to look out for myself and do for myself what I need. Unless I don’t have the means, I would do it for myself and when I need help I don’t mind asking for it.

Now, if you met a person like me and you think giving ‘us’ gifts would make us love you forever, then you are likely to be disappointed. I may take it and appreciate it so much but it wouldn’t significantly change my feelings.

I am, I mean people like me, are very much interested in connecting with people on a deeper level of understanding rather than just physical things. People like us have been denied so much love, affectionate, and respect. We prioritise these things more than material things.

You can’t be rude to me and use gifts to buy me off. You can’t speak ill of me and expect me to still love you because you bought some gifts in the past, no it doesn’t work like that.

My parents gave me what they could, but they hardly make an impression on me because of how they speak to me sometimes.
If you are a parent reading this, be warned and respect your children. Be there for them and don’t try to buy them with gifts. Being there and adding gifts are cool. There must be a balance.

But I must admit that the thought of getting someone a gift is an admirable quality we must appreciate about people. Not the gift per say, but the thought that someone wants to give you something is adorable.

But we must learn to differentiate between genuine gifts and gifts that are given or intended to manipulate. Some people give gifts to corrupt your attitude. Like bribery, but in romantic relationships, gifts or materials things can be used to shut you up or control you.

I grew up in a community where abuse on women is common even up to today. Men are always hitting their fiancés and assaulting them at will. But these ladies could not leave the relationship because they were trapped by the shower of material things from their men.

Let us end it here with the understanding that gifts are good when you give them or receive them. I hope you leave this blog with the appreciation that creating deeper connections with people with respect, in honesty, with dignity builds long lasting relationships.

These relationships are not just about romantic relationships but amongst friends, in parenting, amongst siblings, coworkers. Use gifts as an incentive, a means to enhance relationships. Not as the tool for everything.

Don’t Only Talk People Into Leadership

I love the statement ‘he that paves way for his master, paves way for his own greatness’. Service to humanity is that greatness for of service of any kind indeed.

I have come across people who on many occasions have the resources, the connection and time to.make others great, but hardly do they even stretch a hand to help.others grow.

Oftentimes, these people say, ‘I am self made’. In as much as that is true in most instances, nobody ever got to the top without the help of others. Even if others did not help you directly, people’s actions and deeds always leave room for others to grow whether consciously or not.

That notwithstanding, I will give the ‘self-made’ some credit for their taking initiative and taking advantage of the opportunities that were presented to them in many forms. It is one thing when the door is open and another thing to enter. Somewhat, the self-made have a case to blow their trumpet.

After you have made yourself, do well to deliberately and intentionally put others on the path of success or leadership with hard resources and time.

Many a time, the self-made made want to believe that everybody should think like them. Some people are not that adept to such traits and intuition.

There are people who are qualified to be in top positions but can not buy or pay themselves into such positions. It must take someone with an interest in the wellbeing of the organisation to look beyond personal interest and invest in someone who can take up the mantle.

Pay for someone’s admission forms for school and that will be enough to tickle someone’s mind to push harder. Sometimes, deliberately pay for a nomination form for an aspiring leader for him/her to realise their leadership potentials. Partly, do so because you believe they will be a better option for an organisation.

For that matter, I duff my hat for political entrepreneurs, if there is anything like that. Those people who identify young or old leaders and invest in them for the growth of organisations, nations etc.

This used to be the case in political parties. Kingmakers looked out for people with great ideas and good intentions for Leadership positions. But today, it is clear that Kind makers aren’t as interested in the sustainability of then organisations but who the highest bidder is.

In effect, this has made political entrepreneurs or sponsors become politicians. Why sponsor another person when all needed to be a leader today is money and a good following.

We can all make a change today in all organisations. Not all of us have to be leaders to make change or make an impact. Like Robin Sharma rightly named his book ‘The leader who had no title’.

If you are an elder, a team member, a colleague, or a friend and you find someone capable of a position for the betterment of an organisation, it is not enough to say ‘I encourage you to go.for this position’. To let them know how serious you are for them, buy the forms for them and sit with them to fill it out.

Better still, if you do not have the funds, make a case for the person with people who can help and put the person in office. Don’t only talk people into Leadership positions.

You can also groom someone for Leadership by gifting them with books that will shape their leadership skills and put in incentives that would make them better in the process. We can do better for ourselves by helping others.

There Is No New Year

Before I start with telling you why there is no New Year, let me wish you a Happy New Year. Tradition demands that ‘when you go to Rome, you do what Romans do’. A year by now you will be celebrating all the big wins you have been praying for. Cheers to big blessings and wins!

Understand that there is no New Year. For what we are celebrating as New Year is the earth’s travelling around the sun. Scientists believe that the earth travels around the sun in 365 days. By this we believe there is a new start to our lives and the things around us.

However, the movement of the earth around the sun after 365 days does not necessarily usher us into a new year. If you enjoy the celebrations and jubilations that churches and businesses promote. That is fine. Enjoy it and make the best out of it while it lasts.

Now according to the Islamic calendar, the year 2023 for them is the year 1444. The last month of the year in their calendar is the month for Hajj, when they go on their pilgrimage in Mecca. For the Ethiopians, they are in the year 2015. These little evidences should make us see that the New Year thing is only a construct.

Anyway, the typical number of days in the Ethiopian year and what is widely known is 365, but the Arabic calendar has 355 days. In other cultures, the number of months and days more. In the Evè tradition, amongst the Anlos, there are 14 months in a year. This is more that the 12 months known from the western culture.

What most of us fail to see is that, our lives are based on daily activies and not how many days it takes for the earth to travel around the sun. What we achieve at the end of each year is a culmination of daily activities of deliberate actions towards a specific goal or target.

The thing young people, I mean everyone, should note seriously is that, the ‘New Year’ means nothing if you are in love with your comfort zone. The ‘New Year’ will only make sense when your daily actions are well defined and deliberately followed.

Lynda Randle made a song and said ‘One day at a time, sweet Jesus.That’s all I’m asking of You
Just give me the strength to do everyday, What I have to do.Yesterday’s gone, sweet Jesus,
And tomorrow may never be mine.
Lord help me today, Show me the way, One day at a time’.

This year, when you wake up everyday, consciously identify the people who want the best for you. Not the people who want you around them for the joy of being around you but have no plans for you.

Take everything seriously this year. Be mindful of committing yourself to people who do not know what they want. Lest they waste their time in your time. This will be the greatest disservice to yourself and to your loved ones.

Happy New Day, Everyday!

She Will Never Miss Me

This article should be the last in the series of articles expressing my love, frustration, worry, dejection, and emancipation for a girl I love. So yes, ‘My Love (she) will not miss me’ will try to make you understand how after so many years of ‘knowing each other’ and getting into a romantic relationship, things are not working for better.

To give you a better perspective of the series, I encourage you to check out some of my previous articles. They should set the foundation for proper assimilation of the partly whole situation. What I mean by this is that, I would have wished that my Love had published something about my relationship with her, I would gladly share it for people to read.

After more than 6 months of trying to figure out how best my relationship with this lady should grow, I have decided to let her go if need be. Deep down in my heart, this is not the best of options on the table for me. But I can’t think of any better option now as I have tried some possible options.

So, last year during this same time my girl and I were not in the best of relationships as I was trying to turn things around, in a bit of a forceful manner. And we are back to the same place again, at the same time.

But this is different from last year’s. Earlier this year I went to see my girl after several months of not talking. I went to her with the intent of working things out for the better. I was willing to give everything to see this work. I asked her to make time for us to sit down and talk out everything and for her to open up on what we both want from the relationship but she did not give me the desired attention.

I persisted continuously and earnestly but she wouldn’t buy into it. I tried speaking to her closest sibling to speak to her and she wouldn’t listen. Then I decided I was going to propose that we see a Counselor. That was not going to work either. She refused all the times I mentioned it.

To her, she would only see a Counselor if it was in preparation for marriage (wedding). Seeing a Counselor when we are only dating is something she may not encourage. So I am wondering and asking myself ‘Are we not preparing for marriage as we are dating?’ It seemed to me she doesn’t see dating as a step to marriage. It really made me rethink the relationship.

I became a little relaxed and hesitant about the relationship and I started thinking this may not be what I am looking for. This was when some past incidents started making sense to me. I ignored some red flags in the name of love (and I believe she also did, because I am not a Saint). The red flags were basic things that I thought every relationship should have. I have a few of them below.

She Has Never Been There For Me and what I mean by this is that, she has not been there for me in my most important times. Even before we started dating. I invited her for my graduation in Diploma school and she didn’t make it for a church event. Something I didn’t take lightly yet I chose to push it into the background.

We started dating and two (2 years) after I qualified for a degree. I invited her to my graduation and she did not make it because her brother she was working with didn’t allow her. Similarly, I had arranged an outing with her to a wildlife reserve as part of my 30th birthday experience and she canceled it a few days before the time. She said her brother wouldn’t allow her to go out.

Also, I invited her to a family gathering I organised to celebrate my 30th birthday and she wasn’t there for some excuses that I better not mention. This particular one got me, seriously! I believe that was the beginning of the end in my opinion.

On the other hand, recently, her elder sister got married and she did not send me an invite because we were not on good terms. But this sister of hers is someone who is very close to ‘us’ and it was only nice that she sent an invite. She posted the invitation poster on her WhatsApp status, you know like, ‘Whoever sees it is invited’.

Anyway, I attended the wedding and I saw her there but we did not interact. Funny enough, her sister was worried about me and her at the wedding. When I walked to congratulate her on her wedding, the first thing she asked me was ‘What is going on between you and my sister? What is she saying?’ Immediately I asked her to enjoy her day and have fun.

I met with her brother and it was the same reaction I got from him. In fact, he was ready to pull me to sit down with the sister and talk out whatever the issues are. I didn’t entertain that either. I left the wedding reception even before anything funny would happen. Also, I met her mother who was also not too happy with what was going on between her daughter and I. But I just don’t know what to really tell them.

Remember this!

Why do I believe she will not miss me?

Earlier this year when we started trying to get back together, she called me once and asked me why she didn’t hear from me for some days. She told me that she would not wait for me if it happens again. It sounded like a joke but I am not taking anything for granted now. And we have not spoken nor have I made any conscious attempt to get in touch with her for the past 3 months.

During the same period, I remember her telling me that at the time we were not talking, she did not really miss me and that if she had someone to cuddle and hold her she wouldn’t really bother about me. I didn’t know how to take that but it was a clear sign that romance took precedence over every other thing I was trying to achieve with this relationship. Romance is nice and good for holding a relationship but I believe that shouldn’t be the most important thing.

In the month of August, some weeks after my birthday, she requested to see me. So I decided to go to her house. She asked me why I have not been in touch with her and some other questions. I made it clear to her that some things I have seen about our relationship really shocked me, made me feel rejected and alone than I could ever think of. She said she was sorry and all that but I wouldn’t take that ‘lazy’ apology.

Later, on that same day, her mother came to meet us and I shared some pleasantries with her. Then my girl did something crazy by telling mother that I said I didn’t want her again. This is how she said it, and I translate ‘Beatrice (her mother), Selasi (me) said he doesn’t like your daughter again. So, better find something to tell him’. I felt so embarrassed and confused.

That was one of the most paralysing statements I had to deal with. Her mother responded by saying she has nothing to do or say to two adults like us. I left that day feeling really sad and I asked her why she did that. She replied that it was just a joke and didn’t I see how her mother reacted. With a smile on my face, I made her understand that was not a joke and I asked for a last hug. Silly me as it may sound, in my heart I felt this wasn’t getting better.

Trying to act like a hard girl, she asked me ‘What do you mean by last hug, are you angry? Is it a breakup you want? I can give it to you?’ I took the hug and left. And that was the last time I went to her place or called her. All these happened before her sister’s wedding.

To cut the long story short, I want to go and see her mother. Partly, just out of respect for her and tell her what is going on. But I am also not too convinced that it is really needed right now as I feel this lady is not really available for ‘US’. I mean, this is someone I have known for almost a decade and it is just hard to describe. It is like we just get along and we are fine. But beyond that there is nothing interesting about it.

I am sorry if I bored you with my ‘nagging’ relationship issues. There is more I can add to this but I believe what I have written so far plus my previous articles should be enough to give you some good judgment. At this point what do you think I have to do, move on or hold on?

Basic Education In Ghana: Free SHS, The Students, And What Is Going On At The Junior High Level

Ghanaians welcomed the Free Senior High School (Free SHS) Education gratefully when it was implemented in 2017. Parents were the most excited about the policy as it would ease the financial burden on them. Students on the other hand did not know what to expect but only to make themselves available to learn.

It has been five years since the implementation of the policy and clearly it has been met with so many challenges. Largely, the challenges have been on the side of finances. And the lack of finance has also affected a lot of areas from feeding of students, unavailability of learning materials and etc. Recent high cost of living(inflation) which is affecting teachers; forcing the from dedicating more time to their teaching, is another factor which is affecting the policy indirectly; in terms of providing quality education.

Over a couple of years now, many academics, clergymen, political leaders have called for the review of the Education policy. The Finance minister, Ken Ofori-Atta, even after seeking a bailout from the International Monetary Fund (IMF) insisted that the Free SHS would not be reviewed. The President of Ghana on several occasions has stated that the Free SHS will not be touched.

In as much as it sounds encouraging to see the government stand it’s grounds on not reviewing the policy, it is something which many feel is not feasible, considering the nation’s financial situation. Somewhat, we are not considering the neglect of basic schools for the Free SHS. It seems government is ready to break the bank to fund this project, and this project only. Along with the National Cathedral (Pun intended)

However, the President, in a meeting recently shared with representatives of the National Union of Graduate Students (NUGS) that government is willing and open for discussions on Education and Development in the country. This came at a time after several concerns were raised by CHASS about shortage of Food and other essentials for the feeding of students in High School.

During this period of food shortage, the Ministry of Education came out to refute claims that there was shortage of food in schools.  Leadership of some Old School Association, Senior High Schools, came out to say otherwise. Under the Free SHS policy, alumni associations are not allowed, for that matter; no one is supposed put a dime in the running of the schools – for everything is covered under the policy by the state. From all the news and events appearing in the media concerning the policy indicates that government is struggling with sustaining the policy. In this regard, let us not forget how caterers in Junior High Schools are complaining about the cost per child for the School feeding program.

Moving on, in all the conversation ongoing, there are a group of people who have been relegated to the background. Their concerns have not been taken into account to understand the extent to which the Free SHS policy is helping them or not. These are people who are the direct recipients of the policy; the students! Maybe, we, as adults, are overexaggerating the whole issue. It could also be that the issue is being under-exaggerated, therefore, we must make a deliberate attempt to listen to what the students have.

As a part-time teacher with a redemial school, I often come into contact with students who are on vacation. Most of these children school with the grade A class of schools. The thought would be that their condition is better, but no. The children know and understand when the system is broken. One girl from Wesley Girls’ Schools once said “The teachers come to class and teach us what they feel. So it makes it difficult to follow what happens in the term”.

Apparently, the concerns the students raised was about the disorganised mode of teaching. The children are worried about how they are not able to follow what is being taught in school. When the students were asked what topics they treated in school, they couldn’t tell confidently. People may make the argument that the children are not good students. But that is not the case, as I enter into the next point; Less Contact Period.

Upon engagement with the children, the contact hours for the children is less and that affects the how much time is spent on topics and the subjects. This could partly be attributed to the lack of learning materials. This was clearly raised on March 31st this year by the GNAT President. Clearly this has not been properly dealt with. As if that is not enough.

When you go down to the Junior High School, it is not any better. They have worse stories from dilapidating structures, lack of teaching and learning materials, to low motivation of teachers – talk less of the free feeding program, that is more heartbreaking than anything one can ever think of.

My work puts me in the space of basic schools regularly. To see how school buildings are not properly maintained, teachers and heads constantly complaining about the lack of teaching and learning materials, makes it worrisome should one choose keep mute. One teacher complained “Even if they can’t give us proper compensation, at least they should provide us with the learning and teaching materials to make our work easier – we will take care of ourselves”. It was profound what he said.

Just as I was writing this article, CHASS in the Northern Region came out to warn that Senior High Schools were going to close down because they were borrowing to feed students. Stories like these beg the question “What are we doing with the ‘Planting For Jobs Policy’?” The State is putting money there but the dividends are not coming in.

What Should We Be Looking At?

The Ministry of Education, being the highest body of regulating Education in Ghana, must provide resources to keep the learning environment in a good shape for the Senios and Junior high schools. Where it lacks funding, it should encourage alumni associations to support the efforts of the Government. The thing of absolute free education is overwhelming on the State.

In addition to maintaining the environment in a good shape, the provision of learning and teaching materials is the basic element of every good education. The physical environment is only a ‘meeting point’. Should people have teaching and learning materials available, learning and teaching can happen anywhere. The provision of these make teaching and learning easier, parents and guardians can have access to them and complement the efforts of the schools.

Education (Schooling) in Ghana must be made attractive such that children are willing and eager to support their schools even after they have left or completed. Student and teacher relationship is poor amongst most schools on our part of the world. People do not feel any sense of attachment to their schools for them to want to support their former schools in anyway. The onus lies on the management of the schools to ensure that they are facilitators of the growth of children.

Parent-Teacher-Associations (PTA) have been made redundant in recent years (especially in public schools) and this is dangerous to the ensuring of quality education in our part of the world. This association can be of immense support to the quality of education in many ways. They can support almost everything when they believe it is for the good of their wards. They must be made active and involved in all things. They are very important!

Management of schools who tax parents to pay money for projects or maintenance should do so with all honesty. Oftentimes, the children I interact with at the junior high level reveal that they pay monies for maintenance and other things in the school. One time, a pupil told me they were tax at school to pay Gh20 each to maintain some parts of the school building. The Child said the money they paid was too much for such a small work. I have to convince him that it could be that there are other things the balance would be used for. Accountability is very crucial and we must ensure this at all levels.

In conclusion, economic challenges can heavily impact any policy or project in a state. Therefore, when government is honest and open with citizens, they will receive huge support. The state, at all times, must listen to the people and act upon what they need – democracy. That is when they can have the best wishes of the people. Rhetorics in our present world does not get job done, either does media attention give results.

Education is expensive, especially quality education. But when we follow the old African saying ‘It takes a village to grow a child’ We will see great improvement all around us.

Selasi Aklotsoe Mensah (SamKcat)
selasiaklotsoe@gmail.com

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9pm Thoughts

Our late night conversations,
I still remember them
When you call at 9pm to ask whether I had gotten home and taken my bath.
Now I go out and stare at people holding hands and passing by, and I tell myself:

No one will ever take your place
No one will ever have the lasting impression you had on me
No one will be given the space you had
No one will ever come this close.

My time you wasted
My pride you trampled upon
My Love you hated
My life, you shoke out of me

Sometimes, I ask myself whether I was wrong
Oftentimes, I believe I was right
Most times, I miss you
Other times, I cannot believe I am still waiting for your return.

I know I gave my all
I know I made mistakes
I know I will not accept you back
I know I still love you
I know I will open my heart yet again and
I will open my eyes too.

How do I explain this
How do I get my next lover to understand
How I can’t regret Loving you.
How should I move on, should I
Hold on to the past, or look to the future?

Which way should I move
What can I do now that you are away
Where can I find you
Who knows a story like ours?

How was it handled
How long did it take
How are they feeling now
How about us?

You will find someone to spend on you;
Take you out;
Buy you things;
Give you money;
Marry you;
Fuck you for hours.
Never will you find someone interested in your overall wellbeing like I do.

My Love Told Me ‘We Are Just Dating & I Shouldn’t Take Things Serious’.

 

Last year I wrote an article on ‘Who Will You Marry?’ This article was Re to a conversation I had with my girlfriend on what my next plan was after getting my first degree. I told her I was contemplating between getting a masters and getting married. And the first response she gave me was ‘Who are you going to marry?’ It was funny at first but it kept lingering in my mind afterwards. So I decided to write about it. She read parts of the article and she made some statements which seemed to me she was not happy with. Honestly, I was just sharing my wild thoughts as someone who loves, somewhat, to read and write. 

My girlfriend and I have been friends for more than 11 years, and in the past two years and more we have been in a romantic relationship. She is a pretty good person. I like her and I don’t mind going through the ups and downs of life with her. However, I was not feeling the relationship as I believed it should be; for a couple who have known each other for more than a decade. 

I find it weird how difficult it is to go out with my girl whom I have known for more than 11 years. Like, we have never gone out to the movies, restaurants to eat, to the beach or even sightseeing, or had a ‘OUR DAY OUT’ before. The Worst of it is that we have never had a common walk before, not anywhere. That thing was really beating my mind and it made me question our commitment to the relationship and as to whether this is really a true relationship. 

Secondly, my girl and I never really had a deep conversation about what we were into. If we were happy, that’s cool. If we had issues, we couldn’t sit down and talk it out to the core. She liked to avoid challenges and issues, which I thought was dangerous to us – I mean to any relationship. Oftentimes when I brought up an issue or when we had a misunderstanding, she would say ‘Oh Selasi you know I don’t like how serious you are about this. Why can’t you let it go?’ And ‘Why can’t you see this as a joke and let it go. Other times she would say ‘Talking about this hurts me so let’s ignore it’. Often, she would say ‘It is past so let’s forget about it’. This was not sitting well for someone like me who values communication and getting issues resolved – I believe unresolved issues always come back to hurt you. 

Next, my lady loves friends and I knew this before accepting to enter a romantic relationship with her but I didn’t know it was that serious. It is so serious to the extent that I can’t explain it here to make sense. But I would try to give you one statement which summarises everything. One time she said to me ‘Selasi you are worrying me and it has affected my relationship with my friends. Last time they were telling me I have changed ever since I got into a relationship and I didn’t notice it until they said it”. So this seemed to me, we lost our ‘friendship’ after we entered a romantic relationship and that she is not going to sacrifice her relationship with others for the good of ours. That is if she sees any good in our relationship. 

So, I was looking for a way to turn things around and make us talk things out. For a very long time I knew we had started a romantic relationship where we took so many things for granted. So I had to invent a restart button to have the relationship set on a good footing into the future. Therefore, I was looking for a way to turn things around and make us reconnect on a DEEPER level. 

I must say that my girl, maybe, didn’t know I was a troublesome guy. I have come to learn that I am not the normal kind of a boyfriend. I may do things to see the usual sides of the people I commit myself to – mostly deliberate.

Where did the issues start from, it started from when I first decided to spy on her. So I got access to her phone and I saw crazy stuff. I know we all act silly sometimes but what I saw really broke me down. I went through depressing moments, I swear. That period really made me understand what suicidal thoughts or tendencies are. 

I know some people will make the argument that I didn’t have the right to enter her private life. But I had to, because I was seeing certain things which did sit well with me. But like I said earlier, I am willing to go through hell and heaven with her like Will does for Jada. And, if anyone is going to commit the rest of their lives to another person, there is no limit to how much access the person must have to the other and the things they are into. I guess I was wrong with that mentality. 

One time, she asked a question which got me thinking hard, she asked: ‘Why do you behave like you have never done wrong before?’ This question meant I was being too upright and maybe overbearing on her. 

So, I thought to myself, I needed to find a way to turn the tables around and see what reaction I would get. And you know what happens when the tables turn; when Gods become Dogs, and Dogs become Gods. It was a risky thing I did, knowing what I have seen by spying on her. For I knew it could only go one of two ways, either for the better or for the worse. 

I started planting some seeds of doubt by telling her I don’t think she is the right woman for me and how certain things will affect us in marriage. Sister, what I was doing was very risky. For someone I had always wanted, this approach I knew would be dangerous. But the troublesome and childish streak in me couldn’t find any better way than this to go about things. I needed something which would put me at her mercy; where I stand accused. The approach wasn’t really working as I was getting not the desired response. 

One night after a short call, we didn’t speak again for close to 3 weeks. Nobody knows what entered us. And after the three weeks I decided to take advantage of that crisis to push things to the extreme; another ‘mumu’ (childish) move. The child in me, sigh! For close to three months of total confusion and misbehavior, I was looking out for an opening that would put me in a bad light, a terrible one. And I got it. 

One time she went to see my Uncle and they discussed me and so many things. I got a hint of it and I blew it up! Like why would she bypass me to my Uncle over our issues. Even though I personally don’t like third parties, I deliberately blew the whole thing out of proportion. 

After a while I started seeing the reaction I was looking for. She stopped calling and texting me and started showing signs of not wanting the relationship again. This is where I needed to go and apologise and to make things up. Now, I am at her mercy! Now I am going to experience her real self. 

And she didn’t disappoint, my people. The vindictiveness in her tone. She became cynical and unapologetic – I like the unapologetic part somewhat. It turned out seriously that I saw more than what I had asked for. The last nail to the coffin was during one of our conversations where she said to me: ‘Selasi we are just dating, and you are taking things too serious’. I don’t mind if she became angry or mad at me and all, yes; I knew what I did. But this was the first time she seemed not interested in the relationship, and in my spiritI knew it was over. Laugh Out Loud – not funny though.

Our 11 years of knowing each other could not survive 3 months of confusion and misunderstanding. Maybe it is not what it is. That episode got me to understand that ‘When problems can not bring people together, no amount of pleasure can keep them forever’. I just had my ‘experience is the best teacher’ experience, yes. 

At that point, I knew my litmus test did not turn out well. I have wanted her all my life and this is where we are, partly, for my own troublesome nature. I asked her to let us sit down and talk things out as to how we want to get the relationship on track again, she swore that she will not allow that and we will not sit down to talk about anything! To show how serious I was about this, I proposed to her seeing a Counselor, and she vehemently refused! I was doing everything possible to get us to work things out and she just wasn’t willing. 

You know, I was more concerned why she didn’t want us to visit a Counselor. She made me understand that what we went through was nothing serious to see a Counselor and that we could work it out. I was not convinced, I pushed again and she didn’t like the idea. I pushed again and she said that seeing a Counselor when we are only dating is not something she would encourage. For her, if the counseling was in preparation for marriage, then that is cool. 

So I am asking myself: she isn’t interested in working things out while we are at the dating/courtship stage but only when marriage is at stake? This obviously is not good for a couple like us. I believe the best of every relationship should be worked out at the stage it happens. Putting it before a ceremony (wedding) could be too late. 

Anyway, we are talking now again and not like before. But I know we are sitting on a time bomb. We didn’t get back by talking out this deeply and seeking professional advice. Already, we have had instances of exhibiting the tension we refused to seek advice for and talk out as adults. Things seem ‘okay’ right now but it is not just GOOD. Her posture and gestures towards issues suggests to me there is this tension she is suppressing. I mean there are times when she speaks on top of her voice over simple conversations. 

I love her; like I have always loved her for the similar story we share from our separate upbringing. But this is where we are now and neither one of us is willing to say ‘goodbye’, so we are fighting inwardly. I know if she had the chance to give you her side of the relationship, I wouldn’t be a Saint. I mean, why should I be a Saint when I am Selasi? 

If I had the chance to do it all over again, I would do it. But for now, I am listening to Whitney Houston’s ‘Where Do BrokenHearts Go’. 

Anyway, I finally succeeded in persuading her to go out with me. We spoke about a lot and one highlight I picked from the conversation we had that day:

1- ‘I have my private life and you have no right in it’, and one of it is touching her phone. That’s fine. 

So, I look back to the book of Genesis where the Bible says: ‘A man shall leave his father and mother to become one with his wife’. Here I am with my girl telling me she has her private life. Okay, Maybe, I don’t think any man wants to leave his mother and father and become one with someone who is interested in her ‘Private’ life. Hedonism is one lethal element to a happy/healthy relationship. And that should not be encouraged at all.

Essentially, what she is saying is that my ‘concerns’ are not her concerns. And that if there is something she does which I am not comfortable with, she is not ready to change for me. At this point, she wants to enjoy her private life while she is in a relationship. Fair enough, we can make the argument that because we are not married she must enjoy that freedom. Probably I don’t deserve that kind of consideration. Wait, could it be because I don’t pay for her hair and nails? Or because I don’t order her lunch sometimes? ‘Urm’, anyway. 

Okay, okay, okay; I will leave it here, bye for now even though there is more to it. Let us hope I can write something again soon. This is a series and a journey for me and wherever it leads, may the Spirit of my Ancestors guide me and watch over me. That way I can read this piece again in some years to come and smile that it was worth it. Shalom